I was four my whole life

That's what Henry told me this morning when I asked him how it felt to be turning five. "Sad. Poor four, " he sighed. "I will miss four. I was four my whole life."

I admit, I am going to miss four too. When Henry lines up against the wall after a growth spurt or his 5T jeans fit like highwaters only 2 weeks after we bought them, I share in his excitement about growing bigger and feel thankful to have a healthy kiddo. But birthday's are a different kind of measurement. This morning I snuck into his room and snuggled up next to him for a quick birthday snuggle: his curly hair was matted on one side, his fat baby cheek squished up against the pillow, and I wiggled my finger into his fist and thought about the fragility of it all. I reminded myself that it is essential that I relish every moment with my little boy. I remembered back to when he was just a few weeks old, not sleeping through the night, crying for what seemed like no reason at all, Wade and I beside ourselves with fatigue, anxiety and frustration. My Mom told me not to worry, that he would probably start sleeping through the night at around 6 months. SIX MONTHS! That's forever. But it is not forever. In fact it was 4 1/2 years ago, and it flew by.

Tonight, at Henry's birthday dinner, we pulled out a piece of paper and pen and wrote down everything that we could think of about being 4. His favorite color: Green and pink (together). His favorite book: Transformers. His favorite game: Uno. His favorite song: Anything with a good beat. His favorite food: Pizza with spinach and olives. His least favorite food: Soup. His favorite smell: Cinnamon. His favorite toy: Transformers. His favorite number: 10. What he likes do at school: Ride bikes and make art. What he wants to be when he grows up: A paver. His favorite friend to play with:Utah and Papa.

Then we made a list of all the great things that he can do now that he is 5: Ride roller coasters. Go to kindergarten. Be older then some of his buddies. Ride a bigger bike. Read books. Eat more food. Grow bigger muscles.

I told him about the day he was born. How we were sure that he was going to be a girl and had convinced our families and all the nurses. How surprised we were when found out he wasn't. How Wade ran out to the waiting room, threw his arms up in the air and proudly said, "Well, it's a boy." and everyone jumped up and clapped and gave each other long hugs. How lovingly his grandparents looked at him when they first got to hold him. How he had dark hair with little blond tips and the nurses joked that he looked like he had just come from the salon. How Wade did not let him out of his site the entire 2 days we spent at the hospital.

We celebrated the day he was born with a cake and ice cream and more presents then he even knows what to do with. And he blew out 5 candles and told me his wish:

"That we always love each other." -Henry, age 5.