Joy

Henry is getting big. So big that his feet hang over the ledge of his stroller and high chair. So big that he nearly fills up his bed. So big that he talks in paragraphs. So big that his shoe size is nearly double digits. So big that he makes jokes.
So when a moment comes along that reminds me of the little 7 lb.9 oz tiny baby he once was, it makes my heart beat faster. Like tonight when Henry called for me around midnight. He needed a drink. I watched as his big blue eyes closed slowly and then fluttered for a second as he took a two big sucks of water and fell asleep with his cup in his hand. Just like when we were nursing and he would do the same thing right before he would fall asleep. Sometimes I miss that time. When he was just a baby and made those little baby noises or when he would make a sucky face while he was sleeping. Or the first time that he decided that the bath was pretty fun or when peek-a-boo would knock him over with laughter. But then other times I find myself dreaming of what he will be like as a man. What will he believe in. What will he be passionate about. What will he do. And during those daydreams I have to remind myself that some day I will be looking back on these moments right now and wishing for them like I wish for my tiny baby moments and I have to tell myself to slow down. Slow down. Slow down. Enjoy him now because this moment is creating the man he will become.